this xanga ... is dead ... this song and my xanga heading say it all ... if you would like to find my new xanga ... look ... ask ... if i like you ... i'll tell you

and just for the record ... i'm so incredibly sick of people getting involved in my life ... let me live my life ... it is MINE ... not yours ... you don't know jack shit about me or my problems or my goals or my dreams or my ambitions or what makes me happy or what i want ... you know nothing about me ... stop trying to pretend that you do ... stop lying about me and creating things that aren't really there ... stop spreading shit about me ... stop interfering ... just because you don't have drama in your life, doesn't mean i want it in mine, so don't cause it ... and just because you are cold and heartless skanks doesn't mean that i don't have feelings ... and you crush them over and over and over again with the words you say and the way you treat me ... grow up!  there is a whole big world out there that isn't going to put up with the shit that you have given me ... i don't for one second regret any of the great memories that i shared with jon as my boyfriend or with all of you as my friends ... i don't ... and even looking back now and going through all of this shit that you all have put me through, i know that God has a bigger plan for me ... and i know that you were all just stepping stones to help me get to that plan ... i loved you all and i cared about all of you ... shame on you for thinking that you could do this to someone ... i am a living and breathing and feeling person ... i loved jon so much ... so much that i would have died for him ... i would have done anything to keep that spark alive ... and up until today, i still would have ... i would have done anything for all of you "friends" ... anything ... even bethany ... even you, you bitch ... even after you spread those shitty rumors about me and jon because you were jealous that he told me he loved me every night and not you ... i still would have done anything for you ... and looking back now, i realize that you didn't give a shit about me ... none of you did ... and that hurts ... well, here is the line in the song (besides the chorus) that means the most to me ... "i want you, but i'm not giving in this time" ... not to any of you ... i'm ready to stand on my own now ... tall and proud ... without any of you ... texas here i come ... goodbye to all of you ... i hope life hits you the way it hit me ... you'll grow up fast ... good luck ...  and thanks to all the laughter ... and thru all the tears ... i'll miss you all ... i love you